Bossy

Kiddo was going to bed at Grandma's house.

Me, sappy: I love you.
Her: Turn the light off.

The next night—

Me: Goodnight!
Her: Close the door.

Are you sure?

We had to stay late at church, which means both lunch and naptime are delayed, so we got a quick lunch at Wendy's. I handed the kiddo a chicken nugget.

"Chicken nu'et. This is food?"

She remains skeptical of Arby's "roast beef," too, so I think we can conclude that she is much wiser than the rest of us.

It might be snacktime

Kiddo: "Dog say woof, bark bark. Goat say maaaaa. Sheep say... NO FOOD!"

Stealthy

Kiddo is pursuing a fly around the apartment with the flyswatter in a less-than useful way.

"Come back! Come back! Oh, fwyyyyyyyyy! Wake up!"

Pots'n'pans

The kiddo brought me her apron to put on this morning, and then she ran for the kitchen.

Her: C'mon, mama, mama, c'mon. DO DISHES!

Somebody call Mom Judy, I think I got a kitchen girl.

Color commentary

I walked into the living room, where Kiddo was watching the Steelers/Patriots game. She turned to me.

Her: Fa' down and BUMP!

She turned back to the screen and held out her arms for a hug.

Her: Aw right, foo'ba's. Hold you. Kisses a' better.

Stereotypes

Aunt Twin is in the backseat with the kiddo, on the way home from dinner. It's late (for a 1.5 year old), and Kiddo is pretty slap happy.

AT: What does a tiger say?
Kiddo: RAWR.
AT: What does a frog say?
Kiddo: Bib-bit!
AT: What does Mommy say?
Kiddo: [kissing noises]
AT: What does Daddy say?
Kiddo: Ah-choo!
Uproarious laughter from grown-ups
Kiddo, indignantly: I love you, too!

Yes and no

Kiddo and I were hanging out in an exam room, waiting for the nurse to come back with a long shiny needle. To pass the time, we were practicing our twirling and jumping, and then I thought we could try out a new skill.

"Can you stand on one foot?"

She came and stood on my foot.

Misapprehension

Kiddo was combing her hair this morning, saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch." I asked if she had found some tangles, a word we hadn't discussed before.

She thought about that for a few seconds, felt all over her head, and then said, "TANGLES! WEAH AAARE YUH?!"

Review: The Chronicles of Harris Burdick: Fourteen Amazing Authors Tell the Tales

The Chronicles of Harris Burdick: Fourteen Amazing Authors Tell the Tales by Chris Van Allsburg

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



I really wish I could rate all of the stories separately. Some are one-star, others are five-star. I think it's probably hard to tell a famous author "This is terrible, try again" when you've invited them to write for a collection like this, and it shows. Overall, it's a lot of fun to see what the authors do with Mr. Van Allsburg's intriguing illustrations.

Some of the better ones are "The Harp" (Linda Sue Park), "The Third-Floor Bedroom" (Kate DiCamillo), and "Just Desert" (M.T. Anderson). Lois Lowry's "The Seven Chairs" is good until the last paragraph when she takes out her moralizing two-by-four. Louis Sachar's "Captain Tory" is sweet. The very best is Stephen King's "The House on Maple Street."



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