Impossible

We've been having this exchange regularly for the last month or so.

Me: How old are you?
Kiddo: Three months.
Me: No, sweetie. Say "Almost two."
Her: A'most... two?
Me: How old are you?
Her: Three months!

Fortunately, I think I finally got her trained into the right answer today.

Bossy

Kiddo was going to bed at Grandma's house.

Me, sappy: I love you.
Her: Turn the light off.

The next night—

Me: Goodnight!
Her: Close the door.

Are you sure?

We had to stay late at church, which means both lunch and naptime are delayed, so we got a quick lunch at Wendy's. I handed the kiddo a chicken nugget.

"Chicken nu'et. This is food?"

She remains skeptical of Arby's "roast beef," too, so I think we can conclude that she is much wiser than the rest of us.

It might be snacktime

Kiddo: "Dog say woof, bark bark. Goat say maaaaa. Sheep say... NO FOOD!"

Stealthy

Kiddo is pursuing a fly around the apartment with the flyswatter in a less-than useful way.

"Come back! Come back! Oh, fwyyyyyyyyy! Wake up!"

Pots'n'pans

The kiddo brought me her apron to put on this morning, and then she ran for the kitchen.

Her: C'mon, mama, mama, c'mon. DO DISHES!

Somebody call Mom Judy, I think I got a kitchen girl.

Color commentary

I walked into the living room, where Kiddo was watching the Steelers/Patriots game. She turned to me.

Her: Fa' down and BUMP!

She turned back to the screen and held out her arms for a hug.

Her: Aw right, foo'ba's. Hold you. Kisses a' better.

Stereotypes

Aunt Twin is in the backseat with the kiddo, on the way home from dinner. It's late (for a 1.5 year old), and Kiddo is pretty slap happy.

AT: What does a tiger say?
Kiddo: RAWR.
AT: What does a frog say?
Kiddo: Bib-bit!
AT: What does Mommy say?
Kiddo: [kissing noises]
AT: What does Daddy say?
Kiddo: Ah-choo!
Uproarious laughter from grown-ups
Kiddo, indignantly: I love you, too!

Yes and no

Kiddo and I were hanging out in an exam room, waiting for the nurse to come back with a long shiny needle. To pass the time, we were practicing our twirling and jumping, and then I thought we could try out a new skill.

"Can you stand on one foot?"

She came and stood on my foot.

Misapprehension

Kiddo was combing her hair this morning, saying, "Ouch, ouch, ouch." I asked if she had found some tangles, a word we hadn't discussed before.

She thought about that for a few seconds, felt all over her head, and then said, "TANGLES! WEAH AAARE YUH?!"