Referential

Kiddo's version of Dr. Seuss' ABC:

What stuff B?
What stuff B?
What stuff B?
Baby bubbles.
Bumblebee, too.

Secret

"Mom, mom! I'm going to whisper in your ear!"
...
"Dingo wine."

apples and oranges

Kiddo wanted refried beans for snacktime. Okay, fine. She was carrying her bowl to the table when she happily exclaimed, "Yum! It's just like ice cream!"

Cannibalism

Kiddo has been her favorite pig for two straight weeks, which got a bit awkward when I served sandwiches at dinner tonight.

"Baby Wilbur loves ham!"

Correlation

Kiddo's first stab at birds and bees: "When I get big, I'm going to break my ankle and get a baby."

Growing up

Kiddo 2 is ten months old now and getting more independent. This morning it was getting on toward naptime while I was working in the kitchen, and kiddo started to tired-cry a little while playing in the living room. I thought she would come find me, but she went the other way instead. A few minutes later, I found her in her bedroom, where she had climbed into Big Sister's bed to cuddle Tigger-Tiger. Awwwww.

Sublime

It's a mystery known only to preschoolers how I can give the Kiddo two ounces of cheese to shred and end up with a one ounce block of cheese, a dirty cheese shredder, a light sprinkling of cheese on the floor, and nothing on the cutting board. "Did you eat it, Kiddo?" "Nooooooo."

Dissembling

Kid 1 has taken to blaming the baby for doing things that are actually Kid 1's fault.

"She bit me!"
Maybe don't stick your fingers in her mouth.

"She has the thermometer."
Probably shouldn't have given it to her.

"She stole my water!"
You mean the sippy cup you dropped into the crib?

displaced

We're moving, and most of our furniture is in storage. Kiddo was granted snacktime and ran into the living room.

"I'm gonna sit on the COUCH! [Pause] I'm gonna sit on the floor."

Denominated

Kiddo asks me to name things, and she always rejects my first suggestion.

A plastic gorilla:
Me: Silverback?
Her: No, that's not a good name.
Me: Muscles?
Her: Yes.

A spongy owl:
Me: Whoobert?
Her: No, that's not a good name.
Me: Wingifred?
Her: Yes.

The two princesses on the front of the off-brand pull-ups:
Me: Peas and Carrots?
Her: No, that's not a good name.
Me: Thelma and Louise?
Her: Yes.

Incidentally, Peas and Carrots actually stuck, so I get a story about Peas and Carrots's adventures nightly.