12.01.2015

The twenty-fourth day before Christm

Comfort, Comfort Ye My People (modernized as "Comfort, Comfort O/Now/All My People")
Translator: Catherine Winkworth
Author: Johann Olearius (1671)
Tune: Genevan 42 (Louis Bourgeois)
Comfort, comfort ye my people,
Speak ye peace, thus saith our God;
Comfort those who sit in darkness,
Mourning 'neath their sorrows' load;
Speak ye to Jerusalem
Of the peace that waits for them,
Tell her that her sins I cover,
And her warfare now is over. 
Yea, her sins our God will pardon,
Blotting out each dark misdeed;
All that well deserved His anger
He will no more see nor heed.
She hath suffer'd many a day,
Now her griefs have passed away,
God will change her pining sadness
Into ever-springing gladness. 
For Elijah's voice is crying
In the desert far and near,
Bidding all men to repentance,
Since the kingdom now is here.
Oh that warning cry obey,
Now prepare for God a way;
Let the valleys rise to meet Him,
And the hills bow down to greet Him. 
Make ye straight what long was crooked,
Make the rougher places plain,
Let your hearts be true and humble,
As befits His holy reign;
For the glory of the Lord
Now o'er earth is shed abroad,
And all flesh shall see the token
That His Word is never broken.

Isaiah 40:1-5 (KJV)
Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the Lord's hand double for all her sins. The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain: And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

(Also famously set by Handel)

11.19.2015

Wide berth

Kid 1 addresses me in her "Why yes, I am adorable" voice.

"They call me Princess Fighters.... Because I have a baseball bat.... And I hit bad guys with it."

11.13.2015

Irrelevant

At the library play area, I look up from my book to see Kid 1 performing an armbar throw on Kid 2. Slightly later:

Me: What were you trying to do?
Kid 1: I love Kid 2 SO MUCH.

10.06.2015

Slow food

Kiddo describes how to make an apple smoothie: "First, grow an apple tree..."

8.20.2015

Human development

Both of my kids are placing phone calls on dominos.

Kid 2: WARLAAAAH! DUH-BEE? LAHRAH DAH LAH!

Kid 1: Daddy, are you okay with pteranodons in your car?

7.24.2015

Indirect discourse

While I was doing lunch dishes, the kiddo dragged her kitchen stool to the counter, climbed up, and stood looking at a plate of leftover cutout cookies.

Me: What are you doing, Kiddo?
Her: Jus' looking at the cookies.
Me: Are you still hungry?
Her: No.
Me: Do you want more tuna salad?
Her: No.
Me: Another carrot?
Her: No.
Me: What are you doing?
Her: Jus' looking at the cookies.
Me: ... Do you want another cookie?
Her: I'll have a heart one!

7.21.2015

Bupkis

Scene: Kiddo has selected a dum-dum lollipop for each of her parents. One of the flavors is represented in the wrapper by it's traditional container.

Her: Dad loves rhubarb! Daddy gets the rhubarb one.
Me: I don't think they make rhubarb lollipops.
Her: It's rhubarb. See, RHUBARB.
Me: Oh, it's root beer.
Her: Yeah, root beer. Daddy loves rootbarb! It comes in bupkis. Buckis. What are these?
Me: Buckets?
Her: Yeah! No, not buckets. What are these?
Me: Barrels.
Her: Yeah, barrels. [exit; then, offstage] Dad, I've got a surprise for you! It's a lollipop.
Dad, off-off-stage: Yeah?
Her, still offstage: You get rootbarb! No, MOM, WHAT IS THE ONE IN THE BUCKETS-BARRELS.
Me: It's root beer.
Her: Yeah, root beer.

Five minutes later:
Her: I'm a big fan of lollipops.

7.13.2015

Bodies

Her, mildly distressed: My heart is beating!
Me: It always does that. It's supposed to.
Her: Oh.

7.11.2015

Overcorrection

Her: He losed!
Me: He lost.
Her: He losed!
Me: He lost.
Her: He did lost.
Me: .... He did lose.

5.28.2015

Reinventing the wheel

I ask whether Kiddo is planning to make a sandwich with the plastic lunchmeat in her hand.

"I AM-N'T! ...I'm not."