Little Martha

Kiddo and I made a pile of construction paper fish, which she and Dad were playing with after dinner.

Kiddo: Color [unintelligible] on the fish.
Dad: Do what?
Kiddo: Color parsley on the fish.
Dad: Parsley!?
...
Kiddo: Now eat it. No, take the eyes off.

Okay then

Kiddo, eating salmon (a favorite): This fish is correct.

Lithp

What I thought I heard: I need to watch the witch.
What she actually said: I need to wash the wrench.

Not that that makes much more sense, I guess.

Kids see the darnedest things

Kiddo and I were in her bedroom, doing the bedtime routine when she said, "There's a lizard in the fan." So I'm playing along, thinking about how she has a crazy imagination. She said it again, and I looked up at the ceiling where I saw a little stain. That must be the "lizard." No, the kiddo kept insisting there was a lizard in the fan.

When I finally actually looked at the ceiling fan, there, outlined against the glass bowl of the light fixture, was a lizard.

The interloper was removed, but we can't figure out how he got there.

New category

The kiddo spends most of her time as a baby feline. Little cat, little jaguar, little tiger are most common, but sometimes she's a rabbit or a puppy. One never knows, and she gets very offended when addressed incorrectly. This was a new one.

Kiddo: [Animal noise]
T.G.: Oh, look, it's the baby jaguar!
Kiddo, indignant: No, it's a dinosaur chimp!

Moist

One kiddo-ism that seems to be sticking:

soggy, adj. "when my ears are frusterated," or the state of being displeased with loud noises. Ex. The carpet being installed upstairs is making my ears soggy.

Strong medicine

Kiddo approaches with an empty curry powder tin.

Her: Have some cranky powder!
Me: Curry powder?
Her: No, cranky powder. Try it and see if you like it.

Genuine

Kiddo explains cooking dried beans:

"We soaked 'em, and cooked 'em, and stirred 'em, and now they're REAL."