Two of my friends have written about the decision to have (or not have) children in the last week, and I found the contrast striking, to say the least.
Corey says: "No one would call you selfish for not wanting to have a dog or a cat. And children are basically high-stakes permanent pets with fine motor skills. [...T]he reasons for reproduction can be much more self-serving than the decision to keep our genes to ourselves."
Joy says: "It’s way easier to be married with no children. I haven’t gotten a night of unbroken sleep for about 10 months now, post-baby, and it makes me crabby and desperate and unsure of my own bold assertions here. [...] But either we and our peers believe that the hard road of discipline will yield great rewards for us and society later, just as God has promised, or we seek our own momentary self-satisfaction."
3 comments:
I'm glad we have friends like Joy that express the root of the issue so clearly. What do we believe, and how do we work towards our goals? Paul and I thought a lot about this in the first few months of marriage, deciding that it was better to believe that children are a blessing from God, no matter how difficult they may seem. Yet over and over again, we have encountered couples (even Christians) that shy away from having children for selfish reasons labeled as "convenience." And yet of course we have to be careful not to tromp on the toes of those who actually have legitimate God-honoring reasons for waiting... but it does seem that as a culture we have lost the idea of a common good and now most people just ask, "what do I_ want right now?" instead of "what would be good right now?"
Kathryn's got it right. If we are to believe what the bible says about children being God's blessing and being made in His very image, and what God says about himself being sufficient in all things and creating the family, then looking at children as "pets with fine motor skills" that are entirely optional is rather an abomination, don't you think?
I really agree with what both K and Aunt Chris have to say--obviously there are good and God-honoring reasons not to have children (e.g., it is more honoring to God, my husband and parents now for me to finish school--at least in my particular case), but when people get married with no intention of ever having children, something seems skewed. Have you ever read any of Dr. Carlson's books? He has some interesting things to say about the issue.
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